Have you ever come across something from your past and it sends you in this crazy spin of emotion? Feeling cluttered, I decided to rummage through a box of "crap" i'd kept in my closet for way too long. I found an old diary from about 5 years ago and inside, a poem i'd written. I had just gotten engaged and was terrified to screw it up. This would be the second time someone had asked me to marry them, the first not working out as planned obviously. The words I wrote in that mindset spoke to the mess going on in my head. Im sure if my thoughts and emotions were a painting, they'd likely be represented in a complete spectrum of grey and disorder. This is my reasoning for being a pack rat. It's priceless to have a primary source of where you've been and recall every significant emotion of how you made your way out of the clutter.
Nine Fingers from the Right
Forged promises falsely flaunted nine fingers from the right.
False reasons for removal, made fact, then false once more.
Dubbed a fool by convenient definition in my own sight.
How did I get here so far from where I was,
All the while round in circles, up and down, stagnant in one place
The pain I caused along the way is enough to be ashamed of
Matters of the heart so conveniently thrown away
My mistakes from victim one not yet buried in the past,
still on my way to answer “yes” to his replacement in the cast
I’ll keep these fingers crossed, these knuckles on wood, the saltshakers in sight
And tightly grip this second promise nine fingers from the right.
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